Nendil's Procrastination Outlet

WTF.

Portfolio review is next Thursday, so I'm gonna have to get my butt into gear and finish/make my projects presentable. (that, and jobs.) So I promise that I'll show some stuffs around then.

The last third of those wacky quotes, since there are no further translations to be found on shuku. But mourn not - in my opinion, this book section contains the most hilarious misquotes of all.

( The last of the insanity! )

And that's it!

Yeah, long time no write. But hopefully this'll make up for it =)

Here's the story: shuku is a Chinese website with a fairly large collection of book texts, some copyrighted, some not ^^;; as is par for Chinese websites. A long time ago, when my mom first introduced me to it, I browsed it casually and came upon a few copies of Lord of the Rings.

Not just LotR, mind you. LotR in Chinese. LotR badly translated in Chinese.

I rather suspect the authenticity of these texts, especially since a while ago my mom found a copy of The Two Towers in Chinese at the library, and the translation seemed quite professionally adequate. But a great number of books on this website are scanned/transcribed/whatever from real books, like the Chinese version of Goblet of Fire also on there. So, who knows? All I know is that it is great cause for hilarity. XD

There are three LotR texts I've found on the website: the full "Fellowship of the Ring" in traditional Chinese, the first seven chapters of "Fellowship of the Ring" in simplified Chinese, and the first half of "Two Towers" in traditional Chinese. Each has its own share of silly goofs, which I've recorded thoroughly in a Word document, and shall post here in sections. For simplicity's sake, I refer to the simplified Chinese version of FotR as the "Mainland" [China] version, and the traditional version as the "Taiwan" version. Overall, the Mainland version is better at translating English idioms and expressions but trips up on more common, tricky grammar; while the Taiwan version is better at adapting the language into fluent Chinese prose but sometimes just plain misses the point.

To start, a few general oddball terminologies:
* Being that there is no concept of "Elf" in Chinese culture, the closest approximation is the unfortunate translated term of "Little Sprite". Yes, it sounds just as stupid in Chinese.
* Nazgûl = "Naz-bird" (why???)
* Lembas = "Little Sprite crackers". Not all the time, but the fact that it was used at all is cause for facepalming, especially seeing how the Chinese food 饼 would be perfect for describing the substance.

( And into the chaos... )

Arrived at Mann Village Theatre at approx. 3:30pm to a gathering crowd of a couple hundred or so. Obediently we got in some sort of line for not-quite-sure-what. An elderly man behind us inquired about whether we commoners would have any chance of getting in to see the film. Local vendors traversed up and down the sidewalk, handing out fliers for their pizza.

At approx. 4:30 or 5pm they called for ticket holders to go up to the front of the line. Were surprised to find out the old guy behind us was one of them. Wha--?

By 6pm there was probably a thousand or more people. At that time our queue on the sidewalk was allowed to "board" the bleachers set up on both sides of the red carpet. RotK music was piped in through surrounding speakers. (Must get soundtrack.) There was a guy dressed in an elaborate, rhinestone-studded Elvis costume, with words spelled out in sequins on his cape. He's the Return of the King, see.

Being on the top level of the bleachers didn't help much when the limos started arriving. Am surprised at how well I recognized people's faces from 100 feet away on tiptoes. Ian McKellen was one of the first to arrive, and thus starts the chaos.

Observed:

- Peter Jackson is really short! =D He wasn't wearing shorts or sandals though.
- Liv Tyler is incredibly gorgeous in person. The cameras don't do her justice, impossible as that is to believe.
- Apparently Sean Astin was a UCLA alum, we did the school cheer for him =)
- Orlando Bloom has, like, hobbit hair now.
- Elijah Wood apparently never showed up. Aw...

At 7:30 they were all rushed into the theater, including a tardy Dominic Monaghan who didn't have time to make it down the full length of the red carpet. Since the press was leaving, we figured there wasn't much action left for us. Instead we'll go home and watch the madness once more on the evening news...

Edit: Apparently Elijah did show up, 45 minutes after everyone else. Oh well ^^;

LET THE LOVE BEGIN.