Elf-grass, buzzing Ents, and contour maps

[nendil]

The last third of those wacky quotes, since there are no further translations to be found on shuku. But mourn not - in my opinion, this book section contains the most hilarious misquotes of all.

The Two Towers
The Departure of Boromir
Whee!
English: "Drawing his bright sword and crying Elendil! Elendil! he crashed through the trees."
Taiwan: "Aragorn immediately pulled out his shiny sword, shouting 'Elendil o Elendil!' in his mouth he charged into the woods."

I can't imagine why.
English: "'S is for Sauron,' said Gimli. 'That is easy to read.'
           'Nay!' said Legolas. 'Sauron does not use the Elf-runes.'"
Taiwan: "'S is for Sauron,' Gimli answered, 'that is for convenient reading.'
            'No!' Legolas said, 'Sauron does not use the Little Sprite symbols.'"

In denial
English: "'You left the East Wind to me,' said Gimli, 'but I will say naught of it.'"
Taiwan: "'You left the East Wind for me to sing,' Gimli said, 'but what I have to say is, the East Wind does not exist.'"

You suck, Ranger.
English: "'The Orcs have been on this ground,' he said. 'Otherwise nothing can be made out for certain.'"
Taiwan: "'Orcs have not come here,' he concluded, 'Otherwise, things wouldn't be like this.'"

The Riders of Rohan
Sure it does.
English: "'It will be more needed where it is bestowed,' said Aragorn. 'With him lies the true Quest.'"
Taiwan: "'This gift would only be given to us when it is needed,' Aragorn said, 'that depends on the situation.'"

Mooooo
English: "But in the waybread of the Elves he found all the sustenance he needed"
Taiwan: "He can also receive all the energy he needs from the grass that Little Sprites can eat which grows on the road"
* I can't even imagine where this came from...

The Uruk-Hai
An understandable mistake
English: "I heard that one of them has got something, something that's wanted for the War, some elvish plot or other."
Taiwan: "I heard that one of them has got something, something that's wanted for the War, some Little Sprite topographical map or other."

Non-sequitur
English: "I don't suppose you have much notion where we are; but I spent my time at Rivendell rather better."
Taiwan: "I don't suppose you care much how we rank, but, it would've been better if I had stayed at Rivendell."

The King of the Golden Hall
Durr...
English: "Wonder came into the man's eyes"
Taiwan: "Confusion appeared in that soldier's eyes"

Not that funny, just woefully inaccurate
English: "And if any [horse] will bear him."
Taiwan: "Also, heed if anyone helps him."

Because there's no room.
English: "Legolas upon my left, and Aragorn upon my right, and none will dare to stand before us!"
Taiwan: "Legolas upon my left, and Aragorn upon my right, and none will dare to squeeze between us!"

The Road to Isengard
Darn those hats!
English: "'It was only a feeble blow and the cap turned it;' he said. 'It would take more than such an orc-scratch to keep me back.'"
Taiwan: "'It was only a light blow, all because I was wearing a hat,' he said, 'It takes a few more of these orc-scratches to prevent me from walking.'"

Biology 101
English: "Not [hatred] of all that goes on two legs"
Taiwan: "Not all living things walk on two legs"

Flotsam and Jetsam
Table manners
English: "And you need not turn up your nose at the provender, Master Gimli."
Taiwan: "You don't have to press your nose onto the food, there's no such need, Master Gimli."

More fun with the Shire calendar
English: "The fifth of March in the Shire-reckoning"
Taiwan: "It's March third in the Shire-reckoning"

Or the Arrows of Shiny Hurting +5
English: "They hurt them, of course, and infuriate them: like stinging flies. But an Ent can be stuck as full of orc-arrows as a pin-cushion, and take no serious harm. They cannot be poisoned, for one thing...."
Taiwan: "Of course, the arrows hurt and infuriate them, the Ents were like stinging flies, and Ents can be stuck as full of orc-arrows as a pin-cushion and take no serious harm. There's only one exception, and that's the arrows can't be poisoned...."

Stop talking to yourself, Gandalf
English: "Did he say: 'Hullo, Pippin! This is a pleasant surprise!'? No, indeed!"
Taiwan: "He said: 'Hullo, Pippin! Pleasantly surprised, aren't you? Oh? No, it's true!'"

Awww, poooor Wormtongue.
English: "Fate has not been kinder to him [Grima] than he deserves."
Taiwan: "When his efforts had been deserving of reward, fate was instead not kind to him."

Part of this balanced breakfast.
English: "Pipe-weed is better after food"
Taiwan: "Pipe-weed is better than food"

And that's it!

Comments

[summercomfort]

y'know, a lot of these make sense for someone used to Chinese grammar and judicial use of the dictionary. (Wonder = Confusion, etc). But bad as these are, it's at least better than plugging everything into babelfish, no? :D

Thanks for doing these... utterly hilarious