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KOMBAT TIME
You probably haven't heard of the Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe game. That's a silly idea, but hey, I like DC superheroes, I have nostalgia for Mortal Kombat, and they've got some decent ideas like making the gameplay cinematic at times. It's too bad the concept is so shoddily done in a number of ways including animation, character design, and more!
So I went to their official website to check out the high-res concept art/renders and holy crap, I'm lollin' here. Watch me nitpick the hell out of everything:
Batman:
I said it when I first saw him in the trailers and I'll say it again: worst rendition of Batman I've seen in a while.
- Hi guys, the Goddamned Batman is a ninja. He wears black (dark blue or grey acceptable), not shiny ash-white gray.
- It's also great how he's wearing a piece of torn-up fruit roll-up/licorice for a cape. You don't have to strain your cloth physics engine, just put some definition into the texture map!
- Nice low-riding panties there, makes him look like he's wearing a bat-diaper. Although that's actually kind of sensible because Batman's bound to be wearing a cup, right.
- Also, love the Rob Liefeld-esque utility belt there; shiny gold fabric pouches (and no buckle) really scream "I am the night." Even the Animated Series was more creative and sleek about it.
- Speaking of Rob Liefeld, it doesn't show so much in this render but in the trailers Batman has so much muscle definition he looks like his costume is painted on. Some heroes (Superman, Spiderman) can kind of get away with that, but it really doesn't work for Batman. (Maybe the point is to make him look like an articulated action figure? If that's the case it certainly succeeds what with all those random seams everywhere.)
- And the biggest problem of all: Nice job compositing your super high-res hero render into a background that was what, 800x600 or something? It wasn't even a clean compositing job, check out his left foot which is casting no shadow but is reflecting over the edge of the stone. Also, the far edges of the building layer are LOL.
Catwoman:
- The high-res/low-res compositing issue strikes again, and is, in fact, the case for all of these pictures (though most aren't as bad as Batman's). But in particular, check out her left thumb and right boot. How can you miss making that cut?
- For that matter, her right foot is missing entirely.
- Bad rigger, no donut! Right forearm (especially around the elbow) is not twisting properly, and her left hip is doing scary things. I'd be inclined to forgive the latter because that is a hard position to pose, but seriously where did her crotch and ass go.
- No comments on the zipper (this IS Mortal Kombat after all), except that it's nice how the texture blurs out around her crotch. Laziness? Prudery? Bad texture resolution matching? ???
The Flash:
- Worst running pose ever. Okay, not ever, but honestly how hard can it be to exaggerate a more dynamic running pose for the friggin' FLASH.
- What the hell kinda material is that costume supposed to be? Chocolate foil? Christmas ornament?
- Also it's great how he just cut a white circle out of poster board and glued it onto his chest.
The Joker:
- Hey, it's Kefka! Hi Kefka!
- I guess the Joker is crazy enough to make his suit out of melted plastic. I'd have gone with polyester myself but hey, who am I to argue with Mistah J.
- Joker is such a pimp that his pimp cane is a featureless carrot. Which is sure to guarantee him victory over Bugs Bunny.
Captain Marvel:
I know there's some trademark issue with Marvel over his name but seriously, it just seems so wrong to call the man "Shazam".
- WRYYYYYYYY
- PACKAGE (at least it's canon)
- Good lord, how many muscles are in his thigh there? And what happened to his sartorius?
Superman:
- Actually looks okay. Aside from not matching the background lighting. And aforementioned painted-on-costume effect.
Liu Kang:
- My god, what did they do to that poor terracotta soldier's head?
- Zero effort on the lighting in this scene. SEE ME AFTER CLASS
Scorpion:
- Please reflect on the fact that this man(?)'s belt buckle contains more detail than all of Superman. That is all.
Sonya Blade:
- What woman has a ribcage wider than her hips. That's a MAN, baby
- To counter that fact, they made sure to flagrantly show you her nipples. Which are disturbingly small for the size of those bazongas.
- Lack of binocular vision is awesome forcombat kombat!
- Oh good, they left some space for her knees to vent.
- Now I'm no fashion expert, but somehow I don't think stockings with heels stapled onto them make for good combat boots.
Sub-Zero:
- So... they comped a lame reflection onto a gritty stone rooftop for Batman but couldn't be bothered to do it for Sub-Zero's ice skating rink where it'd actually be appropriate?
The moral of the story: It's fine for you to take shortcuts on your CG; everybody does it all the time. But if you're going to release full-resolution images, then they better not show the flaws!
P.S. And while we're on the subject, you should check out these compilations of American cartoons based on popular fighting games, which I didn't even know existed. I'm sure that's for the better because at that age I would have gladly watched them. At first.
Street Fighter stupidity (1/2)
Street Fighter stupidity (2/2)
Mortal Kombat stupidity
So I went to their official website to check out the high-res concept art/renders and holy crap, I'm lollin' here. Watch me nitpick the hell out of everything:
Batman:
I said it when I first saw him in the trailers and I'll say it again: worst rendition of Batman I've seen in a while.
- Hi guys, the Goddamned Batman is a ninja. He wears black (dark blue or grey acceptable), not shiny ash-white gray.
- It's also great how he's wearing a piece of torn-up fruit roll-up/licorice for a cape. You don't have to strain your cloth physics engine, just put some definition into the texture map!
- Nice low-riding panties there, makes him look like he's wearing a bat-diaper. Although that's actually kind of sensible because Batman's bound to be wearing a cup, right.
- Also, love the Rob Liefeld-esque utility belt there; shiny gold fabric pouches (and no buckle) really scream "I am the night." Even the Animated Series was more creative and sleek about it.
- Speaking of Rob Liefeld, it doesn't show so much in this render but in the trailers Batman has so much muscle definition he looks like his costume is painted on. Some heroes (Superman, Spiderman) can kind of get away with that, but it really doesn't work for Batman. (Maybe the point is to make him look like an articulated action figure? If that's the case it certainly succeeds what with all those random seams everywhere.)
- And the biggest problem of all: Nice job compositing your super high-res hero render into a background that was what, 800x600 or something? It wasn't even a clean compositing job, check out his left foot which is casting no shadow but is reflecting over the edge of the stone. Also, the far edges of the building layer are LOL.
Catwoman:
- The high-res/low-res compositing issue strikes again, and is, in fact, the case for all of these pictures (though most aren't as bad as Batman's). But in particular, check out her left thumb and right boot. How can you miss making that cut?
- For that matter, her right foot is missing entirely.
- Bad rigger, no donut! Right forearm (especially around the elbow) is not twisting properly, and her left hip is doing scary things. I'd be inclined to forgive the latter because that is a hard position to pose, but seriously where did her crotch and ass go.
- No comments on the zipper (this IS Mortal Kombat after all), except that it's nice how the texture blurs out around her crotch. Laziness? Prudery? Bad texture resolution matching? ???
The Flash:
- Worst running pose ever. Okay, not ever, but honestly how hard can it be to exaggerate a more dynamic running pose for the friggin' FLASH.
- What the hell kinda material is that costume supposed to be? Chocolate foil? Christmas ornament?
- Also it's great how he just cut a white circle out of poster board and glued it onto his chest.
The Joker:
- Hey, it's Kefka! Hi Kefka!
- I guess the Joker is crazy enough to make his suit out of melted plastic. I'd have gone with polyester myself but hey, who am I to argue with Mistah J.
- Joker is such a pimp that his pimp cane is a featureless carrot. Which is sure to guarantee him victory over Bugs Bunny.
Captain Marvel:
I know there's some trademark issue with Marvel over his name but seriously, it just seems so wrong to call the man "Shazam".
- WRYYYYYYYY
- PACKAGE (at least it's canon)
- Good lord, how many muscles are in his thigh there? And what happened to his sartorius?
Superman:
- Actually looks okay. Aside from not matching the background lighting. And aforementioned painted-on-costume effect.
Liu Kang:
- My god, what did they do to that poor terracotta soldier's head?
- Zero effort on the lighting in this scene. SEE ME AFTER CLASS
Scorpion:
- Please reflect on the fact that this man(?)'s belt buckle contains more detail than all of Superman. That is all.
Sonya Blade:
- What woman has a ribcage wider than her hips. That's a MAN, baby
- To counter that fact, they made sure to flagrantly show you her nipples. Which are disturbingly small for the size of those bazongas.
- Lack of binocular vision is awesome for
- Oh good, they left some space for her knees to vent.
- Now I'm no fashion expert, but somehow I don't think stockings with heels stapled onto them make for good combat boots.
Sub-Zero:
- So... they comped a lame reflection onto a gritty stone rooftop for Batman but couldn't be bothered to do it for Sub-Zero's ice skating rink where it'd actually be appropriate?
The moral of the story: It's fine for you to take shortcuts on your CG; everybody does it all the time. But if you're going to release full-resolution images, then they better not show the flaws!
P.S. And while we're on the subject, you should check out these compilations of American cartoons based on popular fighting games, which I didn't even know existed. I'm sure that's for the better because at that age I would have gladly watched them. At first.
Street Fighter stupidity (1/2)
Street Fighter stupidity (2/2)
Mortal Kombat stupidity
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