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Let's hear it for being up way too late!
Man, you know what? Scrap that crap. Here's the new and improved(??) chapter 4. The setup, anyway.
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Though she had expected to spend much of her time missing Link's presence, Zelda found herself well-distracted by her increasing load of responsibilities. The King had largely recovered from his wounds since Ganondorf's thwarted coup, though he still tired easily and often called on his daughter to manage minor court duties, saying that she needed the practice sooner than later. In addition to her usual lessons of history, letters, and basic geography, Impa had insisted that Zelda begin studying diplomatic tactics to prepare for her new burdens. It was fascinating but difficult material to digest, and even when Zelda dozed off to half-conscious dreams at night, her mind was left cluttered with baited words and delicate courtesies to unravel like some great mess of a Skulltula web.
On the eve of her eleventh birthday, Impa brought up the topic of yet another field of study, though this one was rather more exciting than the previous subjects Zelda had been introduced to. "It's time for you to begin your magical training," she had said, in the middle of brushing Zelda's hair.
"Really? Already?"
"It's usually customary for women in the royal family to train in magic at the age of thirteen. However, in your case..." Impa shot her a glance, and Zelda self-consciously clenched her right hand. "Your father has agreed that it would be prudent to familiarize you with the arts as early as possible."
Zelda beamed, feeling smug about exploring the library on her own. "Impa, I already know how to use magic."
"Hmph. Hardly." The Sheikah woman shook her head with amused exasperation. "Your short-range force barrier is crude but passable, and you can hold a rudimentary flame. Mere parlor tricks for any competent student of magic. Do you expect to command the responsibility of the Triforce's power with these amusements?"
"I can do message spells too," Zelda started to say, but Impa continued, unheeding. "You are talented, child, but the spells you've scrabbled together are barely scratches on the surface of magical discipline. Through a combination of precocious aptitude and luck you've managed to kick up a few embers, but I think you will discover that method will soon run you into a wall."
It was true - Zelda had selected to practice only the few spells she could get working; most she could not even achieve a spark in reaction, though of course she never let on any of this. "Well... What am I supposed to do, then?"
The reflection of Impa in the mirror smiled knowingly. "It is not a question of what, but *how*."
"Impa! Stop being so cryptic and just tell me!"
"Hrm." Impa set down the hairbrush, and looked her over with a critical eye. "First, we will have to open your mind."
And that was how Zelda found herself on an early-morning excursion up the pebbly trails of Death Mountain. She had managed to nod off for the first leg of the trip, but now as the sun finally rose high enough to warm her face over the mountain peaks, Zelda was able to take in the strange rock formations and etched cliff faces, images she had only before known from book illustrations. Impa told her that she had visited the summit once prior, when the King brought the young princess to establish kinship bonds with the Goron tribe leader, but that was so many years ago it may as well have never happened.
----
More at some later time when it's not 4am. It's a good thing I already had part of The Chapter Formerly Known As 5 written...
----
Though she had expected to spend much of her time missing Link's presence, Zelda found herself well-distracted by her increasing load of responsibilities. The King had largely recovered from his wounds since Ganondorf's thwarted coup, though he still tired easily and often called on his daughter to manage minor court duties, saying that she needed the practice sooner than later. In addition to her usual lessons of history, letters, and basic geography, Impa had insisted that Zelda begin studying diplomatic tactics to prepare for her new burdens. It was fascinating but difficult material to digest, and even when Zelda dozed off to half-conscious dreams at night, her mind was left cluttered with baited words and delicate courtesies to unravel like some great mess of a Skulltula web.
On the eve of her eleventh birthday, Impa brought up the topic of yet another field of study, though this one was rather more exciting than the previous subjects Zelda had been introduced to. "It's time for you to begin your magical training," she had said, in the middle of brushing Zelda's hair.
"Really? Already?"
"It's usually customary for women in the royal family to train in magic at the age of thirteen. However, in your case..." Impa shot her a glance, and Zelda self-consciously clenched her right hand. "Your father has agreed that it would be prudent to familiarize you with the arts as early as possible."
Zelda beamed, feeling smug about exploring the library on her own. "Impa, I already know how to use magic."
"Hmph. Hardly." The Sheikah woman shook her head with amused exasperation. "Your short-range force barrier is crude but passable, and you can hold a rudimentary flame. Mere parlor tricks for any competent student of magic. Do you expect to command the responsibility of the Triforce's power with these amusements?"
"I can do message spells too," Zelda started to say, but Impa continued, unheeding. "You are talented, child, but the spells you've scrabbled together are barely scratches on the surface of magical discipline. Through a combination of precocious aptitude and luck you've managed to kick up a few embers, but I think you will discover that method will soon run you into a wall."
It was true - Zelda had selected to practice only the few spells she could get working; most she could not even achieve a spark in reaction, though of course she never let on any of this. "Well... What am I supposed to do, then?"
The reflection of Impa in the mirror smiled knowingly. "It is not a question of what, but *how*."
"Impa! Stop being so cryptic and just tell me!"
"Hrm." Impa set down the hairbrush, and looked her over with a critical eye. "First, we will have to open your mind."
And that was how Zelda found herself on an early-morning excursion up the pebbly trails of Death Mountain. She had managed to nod off for the first leg of the trip, but now as the sun finally rose high enough to warm her face over the mountain peaks, Zelda was able to take in the strange rock formations and etched cliff faces, images she had only before known from book illustrations. Impa told her that she had visited the summit once prior, when the King brought the young princess to establish kinship bonds with the Goron tribe leader, but that was so many years ago it may as well have never happened.
----
More at some later time when it's not 4am. It's a good thing I already had part of The Chapter Formerly Known As 5 written...
no subject
Brrr, and there I go getting behind again.
Fangirl:
-squeel- ABOUT TIME! -drool-
Beta:
Well, there's the good stuff, yah? This part of the chapter seems pretty clean for the most part, but there are a few rough spots. The end of this part, in particular, needs tweaked.
"She had managed to nod off... had only before known from book illustrations."
That's ONE SENTENCE? I know I probably sound like one very obnoxious, grade-school teacher, but you really shouldn't use run-long sentences off-handedly. It makes the reader start to read really fast--expecting some great revelation at the end--especially when it's different from the writer's (your) normal style. Sentence formats and rhetorical devices which interrupt the normal flow of the... narrative... stand out like sore thumbs, so a reader's going to pick them out as important. And when they're NOT of particular merit... the reader will go back and likely read the spot multiple times to try and figure it out before getting frustrated. Frustrated readers are not happy readers.
One sentence won't break an otherwise good piece, but it's a good idea to keep an eye out for spots where your syntax (? Is that the proper word?) slips.
Of course, you know that, I'm a self-important jerk, and that's what betas are for. XD So you keep the chapters coming and I'll keep being a nitpick.
Good to see you writing again.
-Lanni
(P.S. My site moved again. -sweat- So send me a quick email when you've got free time and want the link... again...)
Re: Brrr, and there I go getting behind again.
I forget to keep an eye on you for two... whoa, months? XD
That's what LJ's friends feature is for, you know. ;) ;)
(Feel free to append the site link in any comment here, btw)
Re: Brrr, and there I go getting behind again.
The only thing I ever go on the site for is to check on your journal. XD I made my account like... a year or two ago and made one entry 'cause I needed to get things out and er... well... haven't used it since! XD
http://seki-lanni.cjb.cc
Supposing I didn't forget to update for a month... I should do that today so I don't lose hosting -sweat-
Re: Brrr, and there I go getting behind again.
..Oh yeah, and navigating to Fanfiction through the "Whispers" button will produce the Otakudom sidebar, that's a bit disorienting.
Other than that, looks dandy!
Re: Brrr, and there I go getting behind again.
As for the hovering thing... that's an old remnant of a previous layout... because I'm too lazy to do a brand-spankin' new layout every time. XD I usually just rearrange things using the css file, so it just kinda gets... I miss stuff XD I'm going to make a new layout here again pretty soon... probably... so I'm not going to bother with it.
The 'fanfiction' section was an issue Seki and I were split on--where to put it. So we compromised and put a link in both. Maybe I should put a note in a hover in the whisper section that it does that...